?What are some of the ways that you show kids that father and mother need time alone, without feeling guilty about it??
A journalist, writing articles on having time alone and couple time once you have kids, asked me this question.
Parents will feel guilty only once they believe that they are doing something wrong by hanging out alone and couple time without their children.
This is usually a false belief.
The simple truth is that children grow up far healthier emotionally when their parents are happy and fulfilled, even though this means that their parents spend less time with them. When Your reputation24 understand that they’re being good parents by talking loving care of themselves and their relationship, their children will understand why.
One way of helping children understand this is to introduce the idea of ?time alone? very early in a kid?s life. By enough time a child is three, he or she can easily understand the idea of time alone. If, every time you spend time alone with your child, you say, ?That is our time alone,? your son or daughter will begin to understand the idea. When you have time to yourself, you can say, ?This is my time alone with myself.? When you spend time together with your partner, you can say, ?This is Father and mother?s time alone together.? Parents can tell their children, when they are capable of understanding the words, ?We are in need of time alone with you, with one another, and with ourselves. All of us need to respect this about one another.?
Our three children fully understood the idea of ?time alone? because we spent time alone with each them. They found understand and respect at an extremely young age the need for time alone.
If you put yourself aside and don?t spending some time with yourself and with your partner, you are giving your kids unhealthy role modeling. You are teaching them that others are always responsible for meeting their needs. You are teaching them to feel entitled to your time and attention rather than helping them learn to respect others? time. You’re teaching them that it is okay to demand that others put themselves aside for them, which may create narcissistic behavior.
Healthy parenting means getting a balance between being with your children, being together with your partner, and being with yourself. For the children to cultivate up taking responsibility for his or her own needs and feelings, they need to see you taking responsibility to your requirements and feelings. Constantly sacrificing yourself for the children will not role model personal responsibility.
Children need to experience you and your spouse enjoying your time with each other, in addition to with yourselves. They have to see you pursuing your projects, hobbies, creativity and passions so that you can understand that they also have to find their passions. For anyone who is always there to meet your kids?s needs, how do they discover who they’re and what brings them joy? Always being there to meet up your children?s needs for entertainment creates a dependency on others rather than finding these resources within themselves.
Many people grow up being unsure of how exactly to be alone with themselves. Because they were either always in front of a TV or being entertained by their parents, they never discovered how exactly to ?play by themselves.?
Of course it is vital to have plenty of time alone with your children. Nonetheless it is equally important to have sufficient time alone together with your spouse and with yourself. Once you understand this, you will stop feeling guilty about taking your time alone. When you no more feel guilty, your children will figure out how to stop guilting you and respect your preferences.